Part of writing now is learning to accept that I can't simply impose order on this damned mess in a single, bold stroke the way I did a decade ago (can I have been sick that long?). I need to be patient (I hate that pun) while I plod my way toward coherence. It makes me sick, but that's how this works now and nothing will change it. Writing is a slow boring of hard boards needing passion and perspective. The charismatic version of this was way more fun.
Baseball. Writing is baseball. It's about grinding it out patiently across the long season.